Hello!
Children's play changes daily as they grow, but sometimes it can go completely against parents' intentions and wishes, such as "I really wish they'd play with XX...", "They don't show any interest in the toys I bought for them," or "I want them to play with friends, but I always find them playing alone!"
This time, we interviewed a certified psychologist about the development of children's play.
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Hello. I am Tanaka, a certified psychologist.
"I don't want them to play too many games."
"I want them to play outside."
"I want them to read books."
As parents, I believe we all think and sometimes worry about our children's play.
"All the kids the same age in the neighborhood play together, but my child often reads alone."
"My child plays alone in the sandbox all the time, is that okay?"
I actually receive many consultations like these regarding children's play.
Regarding children's play, the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology also emphasizes the importance of learning through play in early childhood, and many parents likely recognize "playtime = learning time."
Upon hearing "learning time," many people may compare it to their child's current situation and become worried.
However, children don't all start by "playing with friends" from the very beginning. It is said that as children grow, adapt to their environment, and develop, their "play" changes, starting with solitary play and evolving into something shared with others.
First, I will introduce the "stages of play development (order)."
Stages of Play Development
Regarding the stages of play development, I will introduce developmental psychologist Parten's "Six Categories of Play."
Parten's classification of play is divided into six types: "unoccupied play," "solitary play," "onlooker play," "parallel play," "associative play," and "cooperative play."
①Unoccupied Play (0-3 months)
A state where the child does nothing but watch. Even if there is something they are interested in, they do not act on it and simply follow it with their eyes without attempting to do anything.
②Solitary Play (0 months - 2 years)
A state where the child plays alone without trying to interact with other children. Even if there are friends nearby, they show little interest and engross themselves in their own play.
③Onlooker Play (2 years)
A state where the child merely watches friends play. They may talk to them but never attempt to play together.
④Parallel Play (2 years and older)
A state where the child plays the same game near friends. Although they play nearby, they do not try to interact. However, they are interested in their friends.
⑤Associative Play (3-4 years)
Children interact during play and can share tools.
It looks like friends are enjoying the same game together. Each child is doing what they like. Even if they appear to be playing house together, there is no division of roles, and they are engrossed in their individual play.
⑥Cooperative Play (4 years and older)
A state where friends enjoy playing together with assigned roles. In playing house, children decide on roles such as "XX is Mom" and "XX is Big Sister." Rules also exist in the play, and everyone develops one game together.
These are the six classifications.
Thus, when there is a classification like "XX play from this age," we tend to think that we must follow it. However, this is just a developmental model. Development varies greatly from person to person, and not all children grow at this pace.
Should we, as adults, recommend play that aligns with this development?
Case Study ① 5-year-old boy, case involving consultation about developmental disability
The consultation was about a child who wouldn't play even when children of the same age were nearby, always played alone, and whether there was a possibility of autism. Applying Parten, the American developmental psychologist mentioned in the previous chapter, it might indeed seem that his play development was delayed.
Just in case, we conducted a developmental test, but it did not indicate autism spectrum disorder or ADHD. We explained that children have individuality, different developmental paces, and different personalities. We suggested respecting the child's feelings for the time being and observing him, and decided to monitor his progress.
After that, there were no particular problems, and when he revisited two years later, his parent said, "He now plays with friends much more often. He still spends a lot of time playing alone, but I think that's just his personality." The examination concluded successfully.
As in this case, I believe there are many children who were seen out of concern but grew up without any problems afterward.
Just because a child deviates slightly from the developmental model does not mean it is immediately linked to a developmental disability.
Is it better to let them play alone? Is it better to let them play with everyone?
In research on children's play and development, many opinions suggest that solitary play is beneficial.
It is completely understandable for us as parents to worry about a child who only plays alone, fearing a decline in social skills, and wanting them to experience interaction with others and develop communication skills through these experiences. Also, the possibility that "only playing alone" might conceal "social impairment," "communication impairment," or "imagination impairment" is certainly not zero.
However, solitary play is also a way for children to train their imagination and concentration and to pursue what they enjoy. There are also disadvantages to not engaging in solitary play or being unable to do so.
Finally
What we and parents can do is to be there for the child, to give them the reassurance that there is someone who accepts them, and to create an environment where the child can play with peace of mind.
First, please accept each child's individuality and observe them.
If you're still worried, please consult a specialized institution.
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Thank you, sensei!